Christmas spirit//Worthy?

Um so hey guys I really don't know why I'm here but yeah I don't even have anything planned to say.

As you know,Christmas is around the corner and approaching and there's something about Christmas that gives you that feeling.You either feel happy,sad or nostalgic.But more will opt for the first one.Christmas is just so magical even though it's only a holiday.It's the time that all kids look forward to because they hope to get a present from Santa.It's where people get together and celebrate.

It gives me that feeling when I watch a super cute but sad korean drama or a super sad love story.I'm also in for the Christmas spirit.I mean it makes happy and all just to see smiles on people's faces.It's like when I go out and see people admiring the Christmas decorations and are all gleefully showing off their white teeth,I feel happy too.

But then I got to admit too,Christmas this year just feels like there's something missing.When I look at my decorations in the room,I keep thinking to myself,what exactly is missing such that I feel the hole burning in me.I just so grateful my life is great and everything is in place.

It is just that when I look at my friends and how they get to genuinely enjoy themselves,I feel sad.That's because I know that their lifes are complete I guess.Sometimes I ask myself whether this is even worth it or not.I sometimes feel like I'm just wasting my life away sitting in the dark praying for something to come back when in reality it's already long gone.It's like wishing that you didn't break that glass that your parents gave you when you were little.Now that it's broken,there's no way to fix it.That's what I'm feeling right now.

What if I just forget that I broke the glass and move on?Or should I just keep crying over split milk.I know it's stupid to let my life slip away while I'm still brooding over stupid stuffs but I'm really confused.Some things in me just don't want to let it go because it just means so much to me.People are all telling me to forget and let go and be happy but they never really know what it's like don't they?Some part of me is just saying I'm a total moron.What's the point if I waste every Christmas because of some lame-ass person?What?I get everything back?No.

I really can't figure my life out now,I'm just in a state of confusion.I can't even sleep properly at night.It's all a nightmare.I just wish I hadn't even meet that person in the first place.My life is ruined.It's frickin' ruined.What am I gonna do now?

I feel like I'm living in a different world from others.I just don't get it,at all.

I can't believe a year changed everything.This is just wow.I'm really impressed.Christmas wans't like that this time last year.I get how busy people are these days.But won't it kill them to just set aside time.At least take the effort to.At least I know I will.

Don't ever keep someone waiting just because you know they will be there.People get tired too and I am a person.

xoxo,
Sher