lost soul

Watching one drama after another,listening to one song after another,looking at one picture to another,it seems as if everyone else had someone to keep them company. Everyone but me. I was back to square one, back to where I was from the start,again.

Why does it feels so lonely?Maybe it's because I 'lost' everyone. I don't even know why and how it became like this. I can't tell anything to my best friend, I can't speak a single word to my parents without getting scolded for talking too much, I can't tell anything to anyone without getting judged.
There's really no one,which is why I visit this place more often,maybe it's because you guys are just strangers to me so I don't have to worry about saying something I shouldn't.

There's so many things going on in my head and I'm feeling so confused right now. What is one supposed to do when one feel like one is in the dark? I feel like everyone else knows about something I don't and I'm the only one who's not aware.I feel so sick trying to piece this puzzle together sometimes I just feel like giving up altogether.

Is this the aftermath of someone who came and went? It is obviously not a surprise to me but it makes things blurry for me. Suddenly, I don't know what I'm doing anymore and I don't know where I'm going and it feels like I'm walking around aimlessly because I feel so dizzy.

I am aware that I shouldn't keep wasting time on something that is already in the past and should let go of something rather than hanging on because it does lesser damage.The hardest part is always standing up.

Happy ending always has its time and its time is over. It is just so saddening to see everything else being so perfect while I'm just lost.

Maybe I'm just overthinking.Maybe I'm just too sensitive.But nothing beats the cold hard truth seen my own eyes.

I finally know why. It just because of the past. Days when I'm less occupied, I tend to think more of the past and realise how much things have changed now. That's what makes me sad and lonely.

Despite being strong enough to forget some things, there are always times when those dark days come back and take over my soul.

I miss everything.