I probably wrote this in the aspect of a new person.Someone who has completely gotten over everything. I found the answers to all my questions and learnt some new things that I didn't knew months ago.You could say,I've gotten back on my feet and moved on. I've gotten stronger.
I just realised my whole one year had been a joke.A fairy-tale that only existed in books.I was in a fairy-tale and then I was struggling to get out of it and here I am finally and I'm glad to say that this is REALLY the last time. I'm SO DONE with all the bullshit going on.
So what really happened?I was just naїve and ignorant I guess.I had misjudged him.I thought that he was different,from other guys.Different in not being a player.Oh hell,I was so wrong.I trusted him.I thought I knew him.He seemed innocent.One thing I've learnt.Looks can be deceiving. I thought it was real.Maybe not.
He only wanted the best of everything.He's only attracted to pretty things.I keep telling my friends that he was different.That maybe he could change my opinion of guys.Maybe I knew so little about him.I feel disgusted by him.For all that he has done.If it really meant so much to him,how could he
just treat it so lightly and pretend that nothing happened at all?Even for me,it took a whole damn year just for me to get over it.
Perhaps I was hypnotised by love.That's why I was blind before.But I guess I recovered my eyesight and his true colours are getting loud.I see it right now.I always thought that he was matured and special,I was so wrong.I had made the wrong judgement.
I should have known.I learnt how stupid I was earlier this year,thinking that he was my life and my life depended on him.I really understand how blind love can make you.It was all bullshit,as adults say.All those stupid things,stupid promises,are just words said by 13-year-old.So how is it that I am suppose to trust them?Even if I was given the chance to start over again,I never will choose that.I'm too digusted.
I have just wasted my whole year on some bastard.Why was I so stupid?
However, it's not all bad.He was my biggest mistake,but not my greatest regret.He was the mistake that taught me not to make the same mistake again.He was the mistake that told me never to trust anyone again.At least I've learnt. I've grown wiser and as the title relates, what didn't kill me made me stronger.
I've been through so much this year. I've been at my lowest for so long,cried almost every day and night,where ever I went,never willing to open myself up to many people.But it's the end.I'm going to start to live. I've escaped from the palm of the beast.
I've gotten over it.It's in the past now.Although I can't changed what happened,I can just bury it and pretend it never ever happened. I've also cut off all contact with everyone in the past so I do not have to face any of them again to remind me of anything.
What I need now is time,to keep myself busy and make new memories.I'm going to work harder and meet new people.I'm not going to stick around with people from the past.To me,the people I knew in the past have all changed tremendously and they're dead.The past is gone.It's dead.I never want to see or hear about it again.
Primary school never existed.Only secondary school did.And today,my life shall start anew! :)
Till' next time!
xoxo
sher
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