Great. Now everything seems to crumbling down on me.Just great. I feel like every single goal,motivation and courage I had for myself in the beginning of the year has been burned by the fire people set. My self-esteem,self-confidence, all gone. The trust, and everything else, all gone.
All I can do right now is to lock myself up in the room,cry and do nothing. The burning feeling is coming back and it's going to burn me down into ashes. The feeling of demons taking over me,convincing me that I'm nothing but a useless bitch, incapable of doing anything. The demon is forcing me to give up, telling me to stop trying because everyone else have given up on me too.
What's the point of trying? I ask myself. All I get is back to where I came from,chasing my tail and never finding a way out. Things only get better for a while and they crumble down so pathetically again. I feel so claustrophobic, I can't breathe.
At the end of the day, I'm just someone unknown, someone who won't make a difference in anyone's life. With or without me, it's still the same. I suck at everything. I can't do anything. Why am I still trying so hard to make myself useful.Why don't I just sit here and rot?
No one loves me anyway. No one cares about me anyway.No matter what I do , people still think I'm doing it wrong,I'm not helping so what's the point?No matter what I do, I can't salvage my friendships. No matter what I do, no one gives a shit.I'm just tired. Bye I'm going to sleep.
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