all the things i wish i could say but never did

• Honestly,give me a reason why I should believe you.Count all the days,all the times wasted on you.Drunk tears, broken heart. Just tell me why.Until today, nothing change and everything stays the same. I'm sick and tired of hearing the same old thing.Seriously,how long are you going to be like this?It's just so sick,so so sick. Maybe you never knew or maybe you just don't care anymore. I don't know because I'm feeling like I don't know you anymore. Many a times,I feel like giving up but I just can't get over it. I've been thinking alot about this,so much that it's driving me insane. 2am,I can't sleep,staying awake with nothing but you in my heads.3am,and I'm here dreaming about you.4am,here I am crying for you.11am,who i see is you. At least give me an explanation,tell my the truth.I don't care what the truth is,as long as I know it.I can no longer sit here and devour everything like an innocent baby because one thing for sure,it's impossible for me to trust you again. Empty promises,sweet talks.They are not going to get to me because when everything is screaming in my face saying how I'm such a failure for not being able to work things out,I've started thinking alot about this and I realised that it's no longer my fault for over done what I'm supposed to. But it's all your fault,for owing me an explanation for leaving me like this.It's like saying you're gonna keep a dog but you end up abandoning it.I don't get what's the meaning of this because there are so many things I wish I could share with you but all I could do right now is to stare into space and wonder what could've be. Everyone's smiling so brightly and happily and I'm just trying to wish on that shooting star that one day,one day,we could start all over again. Maybe that's when things aren't so screwed up.And maybe that's when I can get back my happiness. 3 more days,I wonder if I'm dumb for making myself go to a place that I have 75% chance of running into you.A place that could make me shed tears once again.I guess I'm just really that dumb,letting you hurt and disappoint me again and again.