back at it again

That's the thing about holidays.It's when work goes down and thoughts get up.

It's making me crazy. I've been overthinking too much.This is a never ending cycle that I can never get out of. Tears just start
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I hate this feeling. It hurts like hell,These demons are crazy. They just kill me.

It's like I feel like I can never trust anyone anymore. I miss everything. I miss my old friends ,how we used to have so much fun together and I feel like we don't even care about each other anymore. I miss the way they used to care for me. I miss how we used to talk day and night. I'm never worried because I know that regardless of what happens, my best friend will be there for me.Be it 2am,4am, even when I'm breaking down.

And now, it feels like I've been left alone, to deal with my own battles. I can't do it anymore. I really need them. How can they abandon me when I need them the most? I'm lost and I don't know what I'm talking about.